You Never Know Who's Listening
by Slayer-Enfiniti
Summary: Sequelspinoff to Do You Hear What I Hear. Aoshi makes a wish in an empty room. Chaos ensues. AM KK ON BACK BURNER. I'm still working on it, but it's taking a while.
1. Chapter 1

This is the sequal/spinoff to Do You Hear What I Hear. You don't have to have read the first to read the second, but it helps. It does.

Contrary to popular belief I have neither died nor been abducted by aliens. This story is tough for me to write, because I don't know Aoshi and Misao as well as the other characters, but I couldn't resist the idea. Enough chatter, let the bishie-torture begin!

Oh. Me no own RK or Ex-lax.

You Never Know Who's Listening

A fanfic by Slayer Enfiniti

Chapter One: Girls

…………………………………………………

Shinomori Aoshi sat in the middle of a quiet room.

"Aoooooshi- samaaaaa! Where are you?" Well, it had been quiet.

Aoshi sighed and stood. Meditation and Misao simply could not exist in the same room. He turned toward the temple door to see it being pushed back by a foot. Attached to the foot was Makimachi Misao, carrying a tea tray.

"Aoshi-sama! Ao- oh, there you are!" Misao bounced up to him with her normal sunshiny, cheery, disgustingly bright attitude. "I got you some tea! Are you thirsty? Were you meditating again? Gee, you sure do that a lot! Want some?"

_How does she manage to bounce around like that and not spill a drop of tea?_ Aoshi wondered absently. "Thank you, Misao." He took the tea tray from her as she beamed at him. After giving him the tray she took off down the stairs.

"Omasu! He said three whole words to me! Can you believe it?" Aoshi shook his head as her voice trailed off. Sure, he wasn't the most talkative, but wasn't that taking it a bit far? He poured himself a cup of tea and sighed.

"Yes, Misao, I'd love some tea. Won't you join me and have some?" He said to the empty room. Why couldn't he say it when Misao was there?

"I wish…" He started, feeling a little silly. "I wish I could be more open, not just with Misao but with everyone." The candles on the altar flared.

_Yeehah! About time! Wish granted, good sir!_ Aoshi's hands dropped to his kodachi. He was alone, wasn't he? Where was that voice coming from?

"Who are you? Where are you? What do you want?" He demanded.

_Whoa there, big boy, easy does it!_ The altar flared again and a girl with blonde hair wearing a silver kimono stepped out from behind the altar. Aoshi frowned. Since when was there enough room back there for a girl to hide? She looked at him with an unnerving silvery-purple gaze that somehow reminded him of Himura Kenshin.

"Better?" She asked brightly. Aoshi sat down. Hard. "Hi, there! How ya doing?" Aoshi stared at her. The girl's smile faltered a bit. She tapped her mouth. "Alright, now that I've traumatized the person I'm supposed to be helping what do I do now?" She snapped her fingers. "Aha! Give them their gift!"

She leaned over him (he backed away hastily, nearly running over the tea set) and touched a finger to the poor ninja's forehead. Aoshi's vision went black for a moment, then the girl's smiling face swam back into view.

"How's that?" She asked pleasantly. Aoshi blinked.

"How's what? As far as I can tell, you did nothing except touch me, I am very upset at you for that, and annoyed. I still don't know who you are or what you're doing here and I'd really like an explanation." Aoshi was flabbergasted. Had all that just gushed out of his mouth? The girl nodded happily, golden buns bobbing.

"It certainly works!" She pouted a little. "Papa gets to deal with redhead cuties, and I get stuck with some verbally constipated ninja! Ah, oh well. Listen closely." She glared at him until she was certain she had his attention. "Consider this a dose of Ex-lax."

"A dose of _what?_" The girl shook her head.

"I'm 150 years too early for that joke. Never mind. What matters is you now speak the truth, all of it, any time anyone asks you for anything. You will say exactly what you feel, and you can't stop it." She smiled wickedly as Aoshi begun to grasp what she was saying and paled. "I think I'm done here." She turned.

"Wait! How long…" She turned back to the poleaxed ninja.

"Before it goes away? No clue. However long you need it, I guess. So probably a while. Ja!" And she dissolved into silver mist. Had Aoshi been standing, he would have sat again.

"Just great, Shinomori." He muttered to himself. "Some psycho girl is trying to nose into my life. Wonderful. I think I need to meditate."

"Aoshi-sama?" Misao tapped on the door and opened it, a letter in her hands. She looked around. "Who're you talking to?"

"Myself. I was just thinking some things through." Curse it; did he have _no_ say in what came out of his mouth? Misao grinned at him and unfolded the letter.

"Himura and Kaoru are coming to visit in a week, and they want to stay for a month or so. Is that OK?" Aoshi nodded. Then he remembered something.

"_Papa gets to deal with redhead cuties…"_

It couldn't be coincidence, could it?

"And from what Kaoru says she and Himura are pretty tight now, she says they've gone on dates and everything-"

"Dates? As in together?"

"Guess so. And she says…" Misao went on, but Aoshi stopped listening. Between what the weird girl had said and the fact that Kenshin, the densest man alive in terms of women, had gotten together with Kaoru, Aoshi was forced to come to the conclusion that the rurouni had had the same type of visitor. He stood and withdrew his money pouch from his sleeve. He handed some money to Misao, who stared at it in confusion.

"Send them train tickets. I'll write them a note and use a pigeon. Battousai will have the note tonight, and they can come tomorrow." Misao transferred her bewildered gaze to the former Okashira.

"A- alright." She walked off, slightly dazed. Then her eyes widened.

"TWENTY- FOUR! THAT'S A RECORD!" Aoshi shook his head as Misao danced down the hall. Hopefully, Battousai would be able to sort out this mess.

………………………..

Miles away in Tokyo, a red haired rurouni sneezed.

"Oro? Someone must be thinking about sessha." He shrugged, and returned to fixing lunch.

…………………………………

"Aoshi-sama! Dinner's ready!"

"Oh, no…" Time to see if his gift was all that he had been told it was. He opened his door to find Misao in a bright pink kimono with yellow and orange flowers on it. The obi was three different shades of green, none of which were very appealing. Overall, Aoshi was blinded and sickened at the same time. Misao bounced (as much as you can in a kimono) up to him.

"So? What do you think of my kimono?" Aoshi winced. _Here we go…_

"The colors are horrible. They are so bright I can hardly see you. They don't go together at all, either. But I like the girl in the kimono." He prepared himself for death. Misao's face was blank.

"Twenty… Twenty-eight, and eight of it was a compliment! Whooohooo! Yeeha! I knew I was right to get it!" She did a little jig in the hall. Aoshi shuddered.

"I can't believe I said that…"

……………………………………..

Kenshin looked down at the note in his hand. He had been astonished when, in the middle of doing the laundry, a pigeon had landed in the bucket, spraying feathers and soap suds everywhere. Now he held a soggy note and two equally wet train tickets from Aoshi in his hands.

Battousai-

It is urgent that I speak with you. Come immediately.

-Shinomori Aoshi

He reread the letter, but he still didn't understand. Urgent? Urgent like Kaoru's need to go shopping or life-and-death urgent? What couldn't Aoshi put in a letter?

"Kenshin?" Kaoru walked up to him, looking questioningly at the pigeon in one of his hands and the mushy bits of paper in the other.

"We've had a pigeon from Aoshi and Misao. A pigeon with very bad aim, I might add. It seems there's a little change in plans, de gozaru. Tomorrow morning we take the train to Kyoto." He showed her the limp train tickets. "Aoshi was kind enough to get them for us."

"But…" Her protest fizzled out as she read the extremely brief note from the ninja man. "Urgent? What's he mean?"

"Sessha has no idea, de gozaru." Kaoru growled.

"Kenshin…" He glanced at her guiltily.

"Oops! I meant _I_ have no idea!" She relaxed and put down her bokken.

"Much better." She mumbled. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh! If we're taking the train I can pack that new kimono you got me! Misao wanted to see it!" She dashed toward her room.

"Kaoru, that was a gag gift!" He called desperately after her. He stared in the direction she had gone. Two months of dating and he still didn't understand her in the least.

_I probably never will, _he realized,_ I wouldn't even be as close to her as I am now without Kami-sama's help. _

He went back to his feather-soaked laundry.

…………………………………..

Aoshi was hiding in the temple, Misao decided. After dinner he had excused himself without a word to anyone. Not really surprising, but Misao could tell something was different about her Aoshi-sama. She could always tell.

Misao smiled. It didn't matter. If anything was really wrong, her Aoshi-sama would tell her.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yatta! Chapter One is up! Finally… I rewrote this one so many times… I digress. Two men, joined through space by mysterious visitors from another world… Sounds like some sci-fi fic. Next chapter, Aoshi gets some much needed reassurance and our heroes meet up with our other heroes. Chapter Two: Male Bonding and the Uses of Duct Tape. See you then!


	2. Chapter 2

Two words: Moving Sucks.

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You Never Know Who's Listening

Chapter Two: Male Bonding and the Uses of Duct Tape.

Bright and early the next morning a redhead and a blackhead went on a train. Er, I mean a guy with red hair and a girl with black. Meanwhile, Aoshi played hard-to find. Ya know, he would've had more luck had his only hiding spot not been the temple. Anyway. Enough of my craziness.

"Aoshi-san!" Shirojirou ran into the temple. Aoshi broke his meditation and stood, facing the huffing and puffing ninja.

"Report." Dangit, old habits died hard! He wasn't supposed to be the Okashira anymore.

"Himura and Kamiya's train just arrived. Okina's calling every one back to the Aoiya to greet them." Aoshi grimaced, making sure Shirojirou couldn't see him. (He had his reputation to maintain)

"I take it I'm on the welcoming committee. That's just joyful. I'll be there shortly." The other ninja was gaping at him. "What?"

"Aoshi-san, I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one day, let alone at one time!" Aoshi tried really hard not to sigh.

"I'm feeling talkative." He said dryly.

"It shows, Aoshi-san." He left. Aoshi sighed and braced himself for the meeting to come.

……………………………………………………

When he got to the Aoiya a bit later, he saw Misao was wearing that horrid kimono again. He almost groaned as he took his place in the group. Misao turned to him.

"We got a pigeon, they're almost here! Isn't that great, Aoshi-sama?"

"Just peachy." Misao giggled.

"You're funny when you're talkative, Aoshi-sama! I- Oh! Theretheyaretheretheyare!" She went running down the road to tackle the two figures who had walked up.

"Ororororororo…"

"HIMURA! GREAT TO SEE YOU! YOU TOO, KAORU!" Aoshi winced. How could so small a body house such a big voice? The now-threesome walked closer, dissolving into a red-haired, scar faced guy with a sword, a black-haired, mean tempered tanuki/girl with a shinai, and, well, Misao.

"So, Himura, whadya think of my kimono?" Misao asked, twirling to give him a full view.

"It's, er, certainly quite colorful, de gozaru." He said tactfully. Kaoru nodded.

"Yup. Mine's better, though." She commented thoughtfully.

"What? No way! I looked for _months_ to find this one!" She glanced wickedly in Aoshi's direction. He knew what was coming. "Aoshi-sama doesn't like it though, do you, Aoshi-sama?"

He didn't even try to block what he knew was coming. "No. The colors don't look good on you, Misao. With your coloring you look better in blues and greens, not to mention there are too many colors on that kimono. Personally, I think it's rather ugly." Okina, Misao, Okon, Omasu, Shirojirou, Kurojirou, Kenshin and Kaoru gaped at him. "What?"

"Th- th- th- thirty- six…" Misao whispered. "Wow." And they stood a while, staring at Aoshi. Kaoru snapped out of it first.

"Misao, I want to show you my kimono." Kaoru took a step toward the door.

"Uh. Oh. Oh, yeah!" Misao and Kaoru walked inside, followed by the other members of the Oniwabanshu, Kyoto district. That left him and Battousai alone. The perfect time. He cleared his throat, startling Kenshin out of a daze.

"Oro?" Aoshi shifted his weight, feeling uncomfortable.

"Er, have you… did you, uh, I mean… you… I- It's nothing." He mumbled. Kenshin turned the full power of his violet gaze on the taller man.

"It can't be nothing if it is weighing so heavily on your mind, Aoshi, nor would you waste money on train tickets for nothing. Nothing also isn't considered urgent." There went Battousai's silver tongue again. "Is there a place for us to talk undisturbed? Sessha has a feeling this will take a while, de gozaru."

Aoshi nodded glumly. "The temple." Kenshin nodded and stuck his head into the Aoiya.

"Kaoru?" There was a call from the back. "Aoshi and I will be at the temple. We may be gone a while, alright?" Another call, and Kenshin pulled his head back. "That's settled. Lead the way."

Once inside the temple, the two men sat down.

Silence.

_This is crazy! If I'm wrong, he's going to think I've gone nuts! Even more nuts than last time. At least I didn't have hallucinations of weird girls who curse people. But I think I'm really going to go nuts if I don't figure this out._

"I, uh, heard you and the Kamiya girl are together now." Aoshi started hesitantly.

"Aa." Curse him, he wasn't making this easy. _One line answers are supposed to be my department!_ Aoshi thought.

"Did you have… some help?"

"Oro? Help? What do you mean?"

_Grr. Here we go. _"I mean a crazy girl with purple eyes and blonde buns? Did you see her?" Kenshin narrowed his eyes, thinking.

"Sessha may know who you are talking about. Why? Did you meet her?"

"Yes." He wanted to give away as little as possible.

"What did she do?" Scratch that theory.

"She popped out of nowhere, insulted me, mentioned something about you and her father, cursed me, and left." Aoshi sighed. "Man, I hate it when that happens." Kenshin's eyes widened.

"She cursed you? How?"

"Whenever anyone asks me a straight question, I have to answer it completely. I have no control over what I say."

"Hmm, interesting… How old are you?"

"32"

"Can you really not drink sake?"

"I can, but I hate it."

"Are you gay?"

"NO!" Kenshin fell over laughing.

"Wow. You're much worse off than sessha was."

"Than you were? You fixed it?"

"Mm, not exactly. Mine was different. I could hear thoughts of any girl."

"Whoa. That's useful." Aoshi commented thoughtfully.

"And darn annoying. But mine went away after I got hit in the head with Kaoru's cooking. I wouldn't recommend that, though."

"I guess not. That doesn't solve my problem."

"So the problem is you can't hide anything? Sessha can see why that could get you in trouble."

"Hai. Especially with Misao." Kenshin turned wicked eyes on him.

"How do you really feel about Misao-dono?" At that moment Aoshi could have cheerfully pounded Kenshin's head in.

"I'm not entirely sure. She will be a great ninja someday soon, but she's so young."

"Kaoru's quite a bit younger than me." Kenshin pointed out.

"But…"

"Aoshi, you're going to find out that we men have very little say in such matters. It's Misao-dono's decision to moon after you, you just have to decide how to react." He said, sounding 10 years older instead of two younger.

"I don't have a say! Everything just falls out of my mouth!"

"Ah. I believe I have the answer to that, as well." Kenshin reached inside his gi and pulled out…

"Duct tape?" The redhead nodded.

"A thousand and one uses and still counting."

………………………………………………………………

Aoshi was alone in his room again, staring at the roll of duct tape in his hands. _How in Buddha's name is this supposed to help?_ He froze as an extremely familiar ki crashed into his door.

"Aoshi-sa- ow!" Aoshi started sweating. What now?

The door opened. "Aoshi-sama?"

"Hai." He refused to turn around.

"Kaoru-san and I are gonna try to sneak into the Imperial Palace!" Aoshi choked. "No, really! I bet we get into the emperor's rooms! What do you think?"

And Aoshi realized what the duct tape was for.

He ripped off a piece and slammed it over his mouth. "Mrmfffnmmph." Misao giggled and left.

"Seeya!" Aoshi took a deep breath through his nose and ripped off the tape.

"You will get caught and I'll have to come and bail you out. Again. Ow." He rubbed his mouth. "I guess I'll have to thank Battousai." He tucked the tape into his sleeve.

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A thousand apologies to my loyal readers for such a long hiatus. Between moving and writer's blocks and night school somehow I came up with this chapter. Again, sorry so late. Anyway, next up we have: What the Miso Says, Aoshi's Adventures with Kaoru's Cooking. Ah, I can taste the torture already.


End file.
